'Twas The Day Before Christmas...

... that my grandmother on my moms' side past away. Got the news in the early morning, well, my dad did, i only knew bout it when i woke up at around 11. She was 89. Guess it did not come as a shock to us cos she has been in ICU for at least 10 days with cancer and the doctors sayin everything now is 50-50. While no doubt all of us are sad that she is no longer with us, but i suppose we should also be happy that she led a happy life and manage to achieve almost everything in life a woman of her age n generation could possibly achieve. Successful children, even more successful grandchildren and even great grand kids. We all loved her even though many of us weren't that close to her (myself in particular). She has been overseas to england as well as Australia and countless trips to China. And oh, did i mention she is a mother to 15 children? And the best part was, she could recognize and remember each n everyone of her grandchildren and great grandchildren!!

Don't think she has any regrets in life. She was always happy, and always active and always going visiting her kids every now n then. Don't remember her having any health complications before. And i certainly doubt that she would want us to be sad or depressed at this time. One good thing is at the time of her passing, most of her children are either in malacca or Kl and the ones from overseas have already flown down. And most of my cousins are also back on holidays. So i guess she chose a good time to leave. With everyone by her side. Guess its a way for her to say "keep the family bond strong". Cos when it all boils down, its family tat will always be there for each other.

I don't know how much a part i'll be involved with the funeral ceremonies as this time round , i'm part of the in-laws. The past 2 funerals i've been to are both from my dads side so can say i was quite bz then. But i suppose i won't be free for the next few days, 3-5 in fact. So sorry la dudes, if got any plans during this time , i don't think i can make it. Gotta respect. As for now, i'm still waiting for the news from the people in kl to see wat plans or preparations will have to be made.

So i guess that pretty much sums up 2006 for me la. More downs then ups this time round. Although i'll touch more bout that when i review my year.

Hmmm.. other than that, nothin much goin on.. malacca is partially flooded but due to that, alot of roads have been closed so its pretty hard to get around town or even out of my taman during the day and early night. Oh, also wanna say thanks Kat for ur gift! really like it! Yet to use it though! hehe..

Well, hope that in 2007 there will be a change in tide. That remains to be seen. Again, Merry Christmas 2 everyone!! And Happy Holidays!!

What A Weekend!

Last weekend i think was the most fun i've had all year round in kl. Lets see, on saturday, my roommate n me went to Rock The World 7!! And on sunday the two of us plus another 2 friends went on a 1 day road trip to..... Malacca!!

Well, starting with the former, for those who dont know, Rock The World 7 is a rock (wat else rite) concert featuring 48 (+2 singaporeans) malaysian bands jamming it out from 3pm to nearly 12 on 3 stages in 1 stadium!. *Pause to catch breath*. I wouldn't say its the best of malaysian bands since bands like Disagree, Deja Voodoo Spells n Frequency Cannon didn't perform amongst others. But with a line up like Pop Shuvit, Love Me Butch, Lo, Dragon Red, Tempered Mental n OAG amongst others playin, it will be a stupid thing to miss out rite? (actually, seeing Lo on the list of performers itself was enough to get me goin :D) Esp since the tickets cost only 25 bucks plus u get 1 t-shirt (which aaron [my roommate] was so happy to get XD), 3 ringgit of talk time on i talk and i was really lucky to be one of those who manage to catch not 1 but 2 flyin CDs being tossed by the artist themselves!!

We arrived at the stadium bout 1 hour b4 d show , took lrt and had to walk bout 2km to the stadium (great way to excersice :P) and once we were in was quite surprised to see Staduim Merdeka so.. well.. small... or was it maybe all the tents n equipment on the field that made it look small. Anyway, had a pleasent surprise early on, j.lo actually tapped my shoulder and talked to me! Well, actually all he said was "hey dude, watcha doin here ?, need anything?" n i was "urm.. urm.. we are waiting for my friends cousin at the VIP gates" n thn he was "oh ok, VIP gate is over the other side.. u guys enjoy the show yea!". Actually we were standing at an enterance, want to wait for my roommates cousin , but actually not suppose stand there, and Lo is like the organizer of this whole event, so b4 the show, he's like walkin around with a walkie talkie n makin sure everything is in order. haha... Didn't get to snap a pic of him cos i dont have a camera :( .. dang.. gotta add tat to my wish list.

So long story short, the show rocked la. But the people there.. aih.. duno where do i begin. Really get to see the malay culture man.. i think 80% of the audience are malays.. They come dressed in their goth, punk, rhastafarian clothes n attitude... really lemah man. But like aaron said la, if they don't support the music scence, who will rite? Given that although most of em are here to just jump around n shove each other like monkeys jackasses, if they didnt turn up, i think half the stadium would be empty. Oh well, gotta expect this rite.. at least no one got hurt ( i think). There's a band, Broken Scar , they are really good!! have their cd (one tht i got for free) . And they sound really cool!!.. Su ling, i think u'll like them since u so into Frequency Cannon n all.. :D. Well, we left the rock show at around 11+ with 3 bands yet to perform cos we scared the lrt would've close if we left any later. Too bad didn't get to see OAG play.. Guess theres time for at next time la.

Rite, so after came back, yum cha, cakap cakap, had about 5 hours of sleep b4 we went on our roadtrip. Was fun as well, ate breakfast, lunch n dinner there. Brought my friends to A'Farmosa (which there were some 'interesting' photos taken XD), Jonker Street to buy stuff (which they pasterd me to bring them to my aunts shop which i did and they got discount summore.. :D btw, i'm not sayin that i didn't wanna bring u guys there la.. i would've anyways, if not why i mention dat my aunt has a store there rite :)) . Wanted to go Stadhyus but it was rainin.. so had to cancel dat part.. so where did we go whn it rained?? haha.. go play pool at senyum! lolz.. As usual for lunch went to eat chiken rice balls and for dinner went to eat satay celup. Till this very day, i wonder why KL got no one sell satay celup. N lok lok is NOT satay celup ya...

So after dinner, we headed straight home with a damn full stomach. 3 meals weh.. all heavy ones summore.. haha. guess its the holiday season (not for me though) so nvm la rite.. hehe.. *goin on a diet d* . Only thing to spoil the mood during the weekend was both Man Utd and Barcelona lost.. and Chelsea won.. cipet.. -.-'' . Oh, champions league draw.. lookin 4ward for Barca vs Liverpool since almost everyone in my condo tat i mix wit supports liverpool and i'm the sole barca supporter!

Anyways, i'll be back this thursday till the 3rd (sendiri take holiday). So those of u from outstation wanna come visit me, ya'll most certainly welcome. To those back home d, u know the drill ;) . Don't know if i'll be going frazers this christmas, was suppose to , but with my grandma's health condition in a bad shape (accordin to mom n aunt) , we may not make it this year :(. But who knows rite.. it is the time for miracles :).

Guess i'd be signing off since i have class awhile more.. cheers!

It's The Season To Be Jolly!!

Fa la la la la lala la la.. u know how it goes. Christmas isn't celebrated BIG here as we all already know but it would be nice to have dat lil christmas spirit in all of us no? But as always, the shoppin malls are all decorated really urm.. christmassy i should say. GIANT christmas trees, fake snow houses, a black dude being Santa. U get the idea. But thn, duno why, i'm always in a good mood during this time of year even if its always blardy hot or blardy rainin all d time. lol.

I know its abit early to be making my christmas wish list (and its practically pointless since not like 'santa' will give me everythin on it) but here it is anyway , so dear santa, for christmas i would really want :

1) a new acoustic guitar

2) good quality earphones for my mp3 player

3) 500 GB (ok ok at least 250 GB) internal hard disk with external casing

4) jessica alba to be my bride .. ahhahaha..

Ok ok.. just the 3 nia. the forth is like those 'things dat would never happen in ur life' XD. Anyway was back in malacca last weekend. Met up with the people back home. Lets see.. yum cha-ed with don, leo n su ling on thursday. Don, u really need a haircut lar.. be it rocker or not :P. Played futsal with the guys on friday nite. Luckily i decieded to bring back my futsal shoes. 2 hours of non stop action. All i got from it was a badly gashed leg due to carpet burn. lol.

Other thn dat, din do much during the weekend. Thanks su ling for sendin me to the bus station on sunday.. summore use shortcut go there.. i was like 'wuuu... so fast can reach central. in like 10 min.. from my house to central. Wanted to belanja makan A&W wan... but mana tau.. ada orang pai seh pula.. lolz.

Ah well, 12 more days to christmas. Then it will be 7 days to the new year. Then it will be 26 days till i turn 21 ! :D . Time really does fly this year. Though i'll probably post a review of the year post later on in d month. Who knows, still got time for stuff to happen rite?

Rite.. beginning to feel that i'm crappin out of boredom liao. Oh, there were people telling me that wat i said in my previous post isnt right/too over and it probably is, but i told them, tis is how i flow. No holes barred. Hope they understand. haha.. anything other thn pure bluntness wouldn't be me rite? u ppl think i should tone it down a lil?

Once again.. Happy holidays to u folks out there!

Every Drama Has Its Finale..

Well, since the recent happenings in my life has been compared to korean dramas by Faye, Yong n Dee, now, i wanna say dat finally the final episode of the series has been concluded last week. No more next season folks. It got yanked of the air like some bad drama series :P. You know, for the first time in my 20 yrs (well, 20 yrs n 11 months) of having friends, this is the first time that i lost trust and respect for someone. And i guess that means we aren't friends anymore la although that was NOT my call.

Ok ok.. wat happened was this (the final episode) : yes, its still regarding THAT girl and THAT guy. Names not need to mention la cos if i did, u wouldn't know who also, and if u do anyway, u probably know who i'm talkin about already. Rite, there was this one day, me and the girl decided to go watch a movie (as friends) and of cos she inevitably called that guy along la. Not dat i mined of cos since we were all friends rite?? Well, then the night before the day we're suppose to go see the movie, the guy told me he wasn't able to make it as his long time friends are coming up to kl to meet him the same day and he asked me to go wit the girl only la. Then about 3 am the girl pula sms me saying she was sick and also couldn't make it the next day. Not buying it one bit, i asked if this was because the guy wasn't going but she said she was really sick. Ask me to believe her summore. Fine, gave her the benefit of the doubt and canceled the movie plan.

But the next day, as i was getting ready to leave for class, she popped up in my unit with the guy, didn't even say hi or anything, just went straight into the guy's room n locked d door (God only knows wat they do inside, i did once, it was a sin) . WTF man, if she was really sick, she'd be at her OWN home resting rite? Wanna come here and infect others is it? Of cos i didn't say anything cos i already know i wasn't gonna get a straight honest answer. But i was like nvm la, maybe got sum logic behind it. Was expecting a msg to at least explain wtf was goin on, but as i'd second guessed, it never came.

The day after dat, around noon i think, the guy went out of the house and i asked where was he going, he said to return cds to friend. Ok lo, return cd yes, but the time he got back was around 7 with a printer in one hand. Then he said he went to PC fair with another friend living few floors below us. Haha.. my roommate was tu lan-ed cos he promised my roommate that he would go wit him to PC fair the next day ( well, he did kept his promise and went again the next day). Then, later on dat nite, we ( the guy, me, my roommate) went down to look for dat friend to go dinner with. Then i said to him , "wah, go pc fair never call la". Then his face terus blur. He was like " pc fair? wat pc fair? i didn't go pc fair, i was sleepin la" . Then i turned and ask the guy "weh, u go pc fair with who? the girl is it??" and he just kept quiet. I know u all also know wat dat means rite? Now now, its not wrong dat he goes pc fair with her. But don't forget, she was suppose to be 'sick' and resting. 1 day already recover? amazing... and if we were still friends at that time, wouldn't she have told me she was alright already? Sick my ass man.. strike 2.

The following day, i woke up quite early ( 9 am liddat) cos of the goddamn drilling at the unit above us. Walked out and saw the girl (again!!) walking into the guy's room and closing the door. It was as if i wasn't even there, no good mornin or hi. Well, not like i give a shit anyway.. so i msg-ed my roommate sayin dat person is here again wit the door locked and i asked if i should get back my phone from her ( i borrowed her my old phone temporarily cos her phone got stolen). And my roommate replied me to go ahead and said he was sick with all this nonsense. So i msg-ed her to leave the phone in the house b4 she leaves and my roommate msg-ed the guy telling him to stop bringing the girl over as it was causing trouble to everyone and he should respect his girlfriend. Yes, to those who don't know, he has a girlfriend already, yet god only knows wat he is doing with this. This was the day lost my trust in someone. Well, dat girl only actually.

So the phone was returned and my roommate gave him some words of advice. He apologized and he said so did the girl. One would think with an apology, he would respect my roommates decision and not allow the girl to come here anymore. But nooo... next day nia, the girl came AGAIN! and same as the day after ! fuck. u call this sorry ar? It's no different then a rapist sayin he is sorry for his crime and next day after his release from prison, goes and rape another victim. At first i thought i should go and give that guy a piece of my mind, but think think think, no need la, he is mature enough (3 yrs older thn me ok) to think of wats right and wats not. Dat was when i lost my respect in someone.

Well, u may keep wondering why i make such a fuss about closed/locked doors rite? Well, it is because the last time this happened, he said if the girl would to come into his room again, he would leave the door open so that nothing funny will happen. So door open = nothing happen, door closed = u do the math. Not that i don't wanna give them the benefit of the doubt that nothin is goin on, but i have a fuckin strong reason to believe otherwise.

Rite, so i guess all of that meant that me and her no longer friends lo. Don't care anyway, i really hate it when someone goes behind my back. If u say u are sick, stay home n be sick, not go gallivanting for 4 days straight. And everyday also come our house. She said it like 3-4-5 times dat she is not gonna bother about the guy anymore. But again, she does the exact opposite, well its her life, wat she wanna do is non of my concern, it was whn i still cared about her, but that feeling also went out the window along with trust and respect. Actually i think it takes 2 to clap la. Even if she still wanna pin on to him , if the guy tak layan her, u would think she'd be smart enough to get the message rite? But i guess the guy also gatal, 1 girl not enough. That goes to show that some people don't have a strong will power and are too weak till they give in to temptation. So as a conclusion, I'm not giving a fuck anymore about the girl or the guy if his problems has anything to do with her. There, done, finally got ending. It may not be a happy one but at least there wont be anymore suffering. And i am actually happy. Should've done this a long time ago.

U people know me rite, i would never do this to friends or family unless i'm pushed to a corner rite? U think i did the right thing? Wat would u have done if it happened to u?

On a lighter note, i'm back for the weekend in malacca. Went out yum cha wit don, su ling n leo last nite. Cipet don, go get hair cut la, nowadays most rockers also got short hair d. Glam rock is no more :P. I myself am gonna get a haircut later on. Till the next time i blog, cheers!

Tagged by Su Ling~

1.Are u photogenic?

>> Look at my beer pic and tell me :P

2. What time do you go to bed?
>> No earlier then 3 am >.<

3. What was the last thing you did before this?
>> Read todays papers

4. Who’s the one you always meet the most?
>> my housemates/friends at Melati Utama lo, gwen, su ling, leo

5. Who’s the person you’ll call if you need help?
>> depends on wat is my problem

6. What’s on your mind right now ?
>> wtf is happenin with 'people' around me?

7. What do you prefer?american idol/malaysian idol?
>> americans have more class and standard n quality

8. With whom do you wanna be with to have fun?
>> The peeps back home!

9. What movie do u wanna watch now?
>> Casino Royale .. (everyones watched it but me :( ]

10. When was the last time you went out?
>> i AM out now.

11. What do you hate the most for now?
>> Saying things they wanna do or dont wanna do but instead doing the exact opposite of that. Lying.

12. What do you do everyday besides eat & sleep?
>> Blasting my music, playing cards, chattin n occasionally blogging

13. Colors that make you happy ?
>> blue red green white

14. Most fav thing in your room ?
>> my broken acoustic guitar :( [my laptop is in the living room :P]

15. Miss someone?
>> miss the people back home.

16. Plan to buy something?
>> wanna buy harddisk but no money... christmas is around d corner though.. >.<

17. Are you satisfied with your life now?
>> fuck no...

18.Do you like seafood?
>> if i were to die now, my last wish was to have a full spread seafood buffet!!

19.Breakfast or dinner?
>> dinner

20. like chocolates?
>> who doesn't?

21. Do you have a laptop?
>> yeah!

22. What’s your favorite food from fast food?
>> McD's Prosperity Burger! Lovely black pepper!! KFC's Meltz comes in a close second though.. they have Nachos!! *dang.. think bout this till stomach hungry d ><*

23. Cats or dogs?
>> Dogs

24. Salty or sweet?
>> sweet. Too salty wait rambut gugur thn become botak!

25. city or country?

>> city of coz

26. Is kissing normal for your age?
>> it be abnormal if it wasnt.

27. Are you athletic?
>> hell yeah! *check out my arms!* hahahaha..

28. Favourite bands for now?
>> The Killers, Panic! At The Disco

29. Do you have your own cell phone?
>> yesh

30. What do you wear to bed?
>> i sleep topless but not bottomless :P

31.Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school?
>> WTF... no no no.. tat would be soo wrong.... to even think of it ><.. *note : non of the teachers are a day under 30 :P or even worth lookin at*

32. Coke or pepsi?
>> Coke

33. sugar or spice?
>> Everything thats nice!

34. Can you use chopsticks?
>> like Duh~~ ..

35. Do you care about getting good grades?
>> For now, all i care about is passing.

36.Have you ever fallen asleep in class?
>> Never in primary or secondary skol but countless times in college ><

37. Get a job or ask your parents for money?
>> ask parents for now la

38. Is your mom strict?
>> quite

39. Do your parents give you enough privacy?
>> for now though..

40. Do your parents trust you?
>> they trust me enough to not question my whereabouts even if i come back at 6 am

41. Would you ever wanna lose your bestfriend?
>> never ever

42. Does your best friend get on your nerves?
>> once in a blue moon la.. but not serious matter to spat about.

43. Do you make friends quickly?
>> i may seem very 'distant' n quiet when meeting new ppl, but once i get to know them, i'm sure we hit off pretty well .. rite??

44. Do you tell your mom everything?
>> u think i crazy ar??

45. What do you & your parents fight about most?
>> we dont fight.. they nag and i juz use the ' nod head n accept everything' tactic ;)

46. If u love someone & she/he rejected u. What will u do to her/him?
>> hmmm.... probably burn or throw away anything that reminds me of her. haha... kidding. I'd just let it be and MOVE ON. Have to ACCEPT the fact in life that SOME things in life are NOT ment to be rite? if we stay as friends then fine, if we don't then fine also.

47. Can u sing or rap?
>> i can sing but not rap

48. If u have one wish , who would u make ur wife/husband for life?
>> Jessica Alba!! *drools*

49. What do u think bout this survey?
>> ok ok larr..

Tag : Leo, Kat, Lynnie, May (basically everyone who reads :P tagg ur it!)

Of Life n Death

Just a short post this time round. Wanna give Happy Birthday shoutouts to Lynnie, Su Ling, Jo, Wei Nie, Khai Lip , Drew and anyone else i don't remember (hehe.. sorry ya). Thought i might as well do a mass shoutout since u all are havin/had ur birthdays like +- 1 week apart nia. So happy 20th birthday to all of u!! Finally u can join my club! :P.

On a much sadder note, a friend of mine in primary skol n high skol passed away few days ago due to an accident. He was also 20. Deepest condolences to the family of Ahmad Tarmizi. Although i'm not close with mizi (dats wat we called him), but we did have good times togather especially when playin football in secondary skol and practically playin all sorts of stuff in primary skol. Ur presence will be deeply missed by those around u dude. May u rest in peace.

Life is really precious ppl, some are celebratin thier 20th yr on this planet while one left on his 20th. So cherish every moment u have and be thankful for all the things u have, all the ppl around u, be happy with ur life no matter wat the situation is. Don't be sad, sulk or mad over things in life cos u never know when urs will be over and u may regret not making urs a better life. So ppl, live life to the fullest n have no regrets!

Peace out!

Revelations...

Well, i guess the weekend is already over. Man U drew wit chelsea.. Fair result i think, it was a game of 2 different halves. The final verdict bout me and her is in. And all i have to say is i'll stop going after her from now on. I'll bury dissolve all feelings i have for her. I'll move on from this episode even if its very hard for me.

Why? Cos she said that she still loves the other guy no matter what and i should just let go. Well, i know some ppl might continue to fight this battle but the way i see it, if i do, i'd be fighting a losing battle. Don't get me wrong, i'm not one who gives up easily (rite jac? :P) on something, but i am a realist. And the way i see things, this is as good as goodbye. Eh... not say goodbye for good la, we are still friends and still contact each other on a normal basis. But i guess from now on, thats all we'll ever be : just friends.

I guess i have to be happy about that; i mean , rather thn not being friends at all rite? But i do wonder.. why is it so hard for her to get over someone that she knows she can't have? Even if u'd say differnt ppl have different levels of tolerance/time to let go, but takkan something as BIG as this also can't see? So i guess the saying 'love is blind' is true all along? Or should i say 'love is stupid' ? Well, at least it makes ppl do stupid things rite? As for me, like i mentioned in my previous post, i'm not gonna sulk over her or dwell over the rejection. Nope, i'm in the 'picking myself up' process now. No hard feelings towards her. Somethings in life just aren't ment to be rite? And these things are certainly not ment to be forced. If the other person doesn't wanna tango wit u, thn guess u just have to find another tango partner eh? Just have to accept some facts in life.

So i guess thats the end of my drama (this one at least). Faye says its like a korean drama.. Correct me if i'm wrong, but isnt there always someone who dies in korean dramas?? But so far everyone involve is still alive n well wo.. :)

Oh, and a special thanks to Su Ling, Leo and Kat for being supportive and giving me words of encouragement and comfort!! Thx guys girls!! luv u 2 bits!

Rite.. Nuff bout that. Other big news happenin around me.. Oh the couple that i blogged about last time remember?? Well, they've split up and moved out!! *plays line from song " This calls for a toast so pour the champaigne, pour the champaigne"* Well, actually the guy fled from the girl.. tell u it was a BIG mess la. Actually they were both back at the girls hometown of Ipoh few weeks back, then last sunday the guy fled from the girl.

Well, long story short, the guy is no where to be found ; The girls family came last weekend to pack up all her stuff and go back to hometown. Her mom said that the guy conned her of around RM6,000 over the years!!! Ask to pay this la, buy that la, borrow money la.. My god.. when my other housemates and me heard that, we were quite stunned!! Now, we don't know whos the more evil one... the guy or the girl.. I believe in karma : what goes around comes around. And i guess when it comes around on him, he's gonna suffer badly. Can't say i feel sorry for him. Not one bit actually. The person i actually feel sorry for are his parents. What happend to their son, become sampah masyarakat. Die also no use la..

And one of my other housemate also moved out recently, went to live somewhere near his girlfriend. So now 1 unit, only 3 ppl live. Me, my roommate and that guy (the one from above). Guess its time 2 start anew eh?

Moving on?? Not so fast....

Latest revelations tell me that i may be a lil to harsh on her. And deep down, i know i don't wanna move on. I still have a thing for her.. sorry leo.. can't let go yet. So i'm keeping my options open for now. I was very upset n hurt whn i posted the last 'real' entry the other day. I'm sorry. But after calming down, think rationally, i guess everyone deserves a chance to explain themselves rite?

Well, she did call me earlier on to talk bout it. Didn't actually get to tell her everything i wanted to, but i guess its all about the timing eh? She says she's gonna talk things over with him this week and will let me know her next move after that. A pretty productive conversation we had i should say.

All i can say is, where i go depends on path that she decides to take. Not that i can't make decisions on my own, its just i don't wanna have any regrets. And i fear i might if i don't listen to what she has to say at least.

I also don't know why i'm so drawn into this.. maybe i do know, but i'm just not sure yet. Oh well, gotta wait till d end of d week to know what will happen between us. Whatever it is, so long as she has think about it thoroughly and is happy bout it, then i will not object to it. So.. till the next big thing comes along...

Overheard in all sorts of places

Overheard In New York

Overheard In The Office

Overheard At The Beach


Three really funny site u ppl should check out. Amazing what people these days say.

Forced.... Nobody Can Be Forced.. Or Can They??

I'm feelin very pissed/upset/angry rite now. Why? Well, it's becos i have friend (i guess i should say HAD) who wants to cut out all ties from me. Reason? All she said was : i wanna be happy, i can't smile infront of my parents/classmates anymore. I am a very understanding and forgiving person. And I guess i could understand dat even if it may take all of my understanding-ppl power to do so. Oh wait.. i don't .. so shoot me. Somehow, I don't think i'm the main reason for this to happen. But i can roughly guess wat is. I think i'm just guilty by association. But if i am the main reason, I'd like to know why.

I know she is probably readin this post but as u all know me, i don't care who reads it as long as i get to convey d message and let ppl know wat i think rite? If wat she said was sum test 2 test my character, then i guess i failed. Cos i certainly don't see the logic of lettin ur friends go even if she said she'll regret it. And i did ask her if she was gonna regret, why do it? Her reply was simple : i'm forcing myself. WTF!!!, why would she force herself to do sumthin tat she will regret?. Guess part of d regret was knowing us in the first place. As far as i can remember, this is the first time someone has actually said these sorta things to me. Done this thing to me. Am i dat bad an effect on her life that she has to say this?

Rite, i guess i have to stop feelin sorry for myself. Although i can say i saw sumthing bad about to happen (even if she did say "maybe good news maybe bad") , i could never.. NEVER EVER had foreseen that this might happen. Why does things have to be this way lar.. why.. Fuck(i'll refrain from typin out more)...

You people might be sayin so wat rite? Just another person only ma. Well, she isn't just another person. At least 2 me she ain't. She also happens to be the girl i've been ranting about in my past few post. The girl dat i so deeply care about. The girl dat i thought i might have sumthin special (in a good way) with. So thats why i'm feelin wat i'm feeling now.

So Kat, i guess this is it. Strike 3. This is the sign dat i needed. Needed to move on without having any fear of regrets or wat ifs. U are happy for me yes? *damnnit, cant even find the mood to type 'lol'*. Guess its time to wake up and smell the coffee d. Set my priorities straight once more. Guess one can never defy the wants of god (if god does exist) huh. Guess i have no one but myself to blame cos well, i sendiri gatal go and fall for someone who already says she doesn't feel dat way for me. Oh well, time to find ways to flush & FORCE these fucked up feelings out of my system once n for all. No turning back.

Don't worry, i won't do anything fuckin stupid to myself (ie. hurt myself physically, SMOKE, drink till i get drunk, take drugs, etc.) Nope, my way of doing things is as safe as one can think. Blasting my music so loud that the neighbors complain. Plus, i have plenty of shows to watch (thanks to soon).

U know wats ironic? Here i am havin all this sad n painful things happenin to me when i'm suppose to attend my cousin's wedding dinner later tonight. And yesterday was the wedding ceremony both the traditional chinese style and the modern style (the exchanging of vows, rings and sayin anythin u want to ur family which basically means thanks n sorries). Happy for them dat they manage to find true love.

Oh well, guess dats life huh. Or part of it anyway, hmmm.. sumhow i feel much more calm. Blogging has oways been a good way for me to release built up tension (besides the blastin of music). Like my MSN avatar currently reads : Shit happens, but mostly to me so don't worry.

Some Questions....

Leo's recent blog contained a few questions regarding wat the oppsite sex is thinking. Well, i think i should follow her lead n 'copy n paste' a few questions of my own (got modify) :

1) Can or will a girl like a guy, but just wanna be friends?

2) Can or will the girl still be close to the guy even if she knows how he feels for her? Wat does it mean if she can/will?

3) How to girls differenciate between good/close/best friend material and boyfriend/partner material in a guy?

4) What does it mean when a girl knows bout d guys feelings 4 her, but doesn't seem to wanna do anything bout it? Why?

5) Will a girl feel regret/jealous/bad/etc. that the guy that once had strong feelings for her just gave up and went for another girl? (Think Avril's Sk8r Boi scenario) :P

6)Wat will a girl think of a guy who gives her presents just for fun. (Which excludes Birthdays, Christmas or any other holiday/event where ppl exchange presents)

7) Is it possible that a girl wants to be with the guy, but just not yet??

8) How does a girl determine d border line between a guy who's persevering/not givin up to win her heart and a guy who's just being too annoyin and too presistant even if she tells him to stop with it?

9) How long is waiting for the girl too long? How much perseverence is too much?

10)Can/will a girl change her feelings she had/didn't have for a guy ?

11)Is it possible for a girl to have feelings for more thn 1 guy at once? What should d guy do? Move on?

Well, i guess dats all for now. I wanted to post a 'real' post but i've still got lots of things ponderin in my head. Maybe after readin other's opinions regardin the questions above, i may be able to see things a lil clearer. All i can say now is i'm like waitin for water in d glass to settle down so i can see d dirt at d bottom and d clear water above. I will update again pretty soon. Till then, cheers!

Food : Savior For A Broken Heart.

At lease that was wat i thought. But honestly, can say it helps about 60% la. But add that with playin futsal for 4 times in 7 days and u get it up to 90% in my case :D.

As i'm very free now might as well tell a story eh? WARNING : may be abit too long and sumtimes emo or sumtimes emo-less (kejam :P). Yes this is related to my previous post.

Alright fastforward couple of weeks from dat incident of "ur-too-good-4-me" shit, actually found out that there were some unresolve issues with her and him, but one day they got d talkin and seems like everything was um.. resolved (Dont wanna get to d details... very messy stuff >.<). Everything seemed to be back to normal (IE everyone is friends again). So then i thought, since the last time i tried to win her heart, d fact dat she couldnt let go of d guy was d problem and that now things are all resolved, it would be ok rite?? So there i went again, stepping up to d batting plate for d second time (dats a baseball metaphore ok). So i asked indirectly and directly sumstuff la. Then this was wat she said (more or less) : " sorry but i dont seem to have 'dat' sort of feelings for u. i just treat u as a friend, good friend , etc". Then i said : " but i tot last time u said u had feelings 4 me as well? " . Her reply was swift : " Last time my mind was messed up with so many things, didnt think straigt". That was strike 2. Was not totally bummed out as i kinda expected it, well actually i didnt. But then, with these sorta things, gotta be abit realistic and leave some space for these things to happen rite?

Then knowin me, i agreed to be just as friends. But its hard isnt it, just being friends with someone u had feelings for. Hard to just sit across d table from her during lunch and smiling o laughing at her jokes when u still have a lil something for her but she doesn't see it since i've already agreed to be just friends and and told her i've dropped all those feelings for her. Oh well, gotta be d bigger person rite?? But IMHO, i dont think she has totally 'lepas-ed' her feelings for my friend yet. Can see it so clearly. And this is when i said to myself : " enough is enough, just drop her for now... Don't be stupid and play 3 wheel AGAIN (yes folks.. AGAIN!!!) " . So i guess i'll leave it all to fate (i believe we pave our own destiny) and just let things be if in future we can have sumthing, then great, if not, i wont sulk over it (points at someone :P).

Rite.. so if dat wasnt fucked up enough, heres another thing that got broken : My acoustic guitar!! Yes, my one thing with curves dat loves me and gives me comfort at my time of sadness and grief.... is broken!! chao ci bai goddamn muther fuckr!! ... -.-. My roommate accidently broke it. How? well, my guitar was placed beside my computer, and he wanted to shift d speakers cos it was blockin my DVD rom from openin. So as he was liftin d speaker (its a small speaker), he knocked my guitar down. He sempat lagi say "oh ur guitar fallin .. bang" .... he thought it wouldnt fall as it seemed.. But it did! and now the neck ( the part where the tuning is) is seriously cracked!! Cant play it anymore as d tension of d strings alone may just snap the neck into 2. And want to replace it also impossible as a guitar is 1 whole piece. So how? Ask him to replace?? He also not say got money. Smart ass got into a argument with his mom and now his mom refuse to bank in cash to him (at least dats wat i understand la). 600 bucks ok.. chao chibai.. wan me tell my dad?? Oh wait, u want me die ar? So until now, the issue is unresolved. At least i know he wont runaway back to sarawak cos he's still studyin so i guess still got time to settle.

So there, 2 fucked up stuff happens to me. But luckily, something happend at the end of dat week dat made my life oh so much better. One of my friends invited me and another housemate back to his hometown of Kuala Selangor to hang out, eat seafood and play futsal. And since i wasnt havin any plans, of cos i agreed (actually even if i did, i would've gone anyway). So last weekend, was away in KS, quite a small town actually. Seemed like my friend knows almost everyone there XD. Well, we left KL at around 2, went to Klang first cos he wanted to check if his car was ready from servicing. Apparently not, so we had tea at sum fancy kopitiam. Cant remember the name... Auntie Lim's was it? Reached KS at around 6, played futsal there till 9. My gosh.. only got 2 futsal courts there. hahaha.. Small town indeed. Oh well, nvm la..

Then after everyone bathed and was ready for dinner, we went to makan seafood at sum chinese restaurant. Lets see.. had fish, crab soup, frog's legs, squid and sum vege. Tell u it was absoultly delicious sial!! ka fan also not enuf to finish. hahha.. Friend belanja, so nvm lo.. haha.. and d icing on d cake was we watched MU beat Pompey 3-0 dat nite. hehehe.. After dinner, went jalan jalan in KS lo.. well many places to go la. So in d end we set up a table outside of my friends house. Put a few chairs up, put a few cans of beer in d ice bucket, and just chatted the night away, till around 6 am thn only sleep. hehe..

Next day, woke up at around 3 liao. Friend's mom asked him to take us go makan seafood again. But at a different place this time la. Jalan to get there abit complicated to explain.. belok here, corner there, pusing here, there.. then in d end ended up near d muara sungai and there stood this restaurant with aircon n all (note dat the houses we saw on d way was those old old type u'd expect to see in kampungs). And wat about d food?? If the dinner the night b4 was yummy, this was yummy x10 !!! Lets see, had grilled stingray (yes yes.. the type dat killed the Croc Hunter), grilled kembong fish i think. Fuh.. the chilli dat came with it was even more fantastic. Then had Tomyam prawns. The unique thing about this was it was served in a coconut!! B4 d dish came out, my friend said this was one of d restaurants signature dishes. And boy was he right!! 1 sulrp of d hot tomyam soup and i was in heaven!! walao.. sedap giler!~~~ . And the fact dat d prawns was fresh added to d delicousness to it. hehe... wat else.. had mussels. Don't usually eat this but it was too delicious to pass up. Luckily i didnt or i'd kill myself if i did. lol... Oh, got deep fried fish in sum starchy soup. Fantastic!! . The servings was so generous tat i didnt need to add rice summore !! And again.. my friend chia. ahhaha.. well, his mom gave him cash la.. so can say his mom chia la.. :D.

Then after dat went ronda ronda again b4 packin back to KL. Detoured again to Klang cos my friend wanted to yumcha with his friend. Was at sum cafe called Leo's if i'm not mistaken. Nuthin fancy i reckon. But it did have gellato ~ ! . Tats italian ice-cream to those who dont know. :P . So i orded d set meal dat had gellato as dessert.. But wtf, i couldnt chose d flavour i wanted !! But luckily it came out peach flavour. haha.. so kinda syok also :) .

Oh after dat, friends still wasnt full, so we went to selayang to eat nasi lemak. Well, they ate actually, i just watched them. So in d end reached back KL at around 2 am. Superbly fun weekend!! Unfortunetly i dont have a digi cam to take d pics of all d yummy food. >.< . Oh, not forgetting, the price.. is so worth it. dont think u can get that kinda price even in malacca let alone kl :P

The next day, play futsal again. Then nuthin much happend till today lo. Oh, be comin home this week. So anyone around gimme a holla aite. I'll get back to ya ;) . Gotta go lunch with dat girl again with tat housemate of mine again after this. Aihh.... Still waitin for my virus scannin to finish though. ><

Why~~

Goddamn blogger didnt want me to blog is it.. been tryin to access tis webpage for hours but failed. Now only can. Fuck betul. --.- .

Things haven't been on the brightside lately... results jz came out.. MCB failed 1 subject again.. out of 5. But thats really not the main matter la. Urs truly got his heart broken again :( . Not once but twice in a couple of months. Well, the first 1 wasnt that bad, manage to get over it quite well. Although i'm still kinda upset la. But the 2nd one jz took the wind out of my sail.

I dont wanna elaborate on it la.. sakit kan hati nia. Long story short: i have feelings for her, she has feelings for sumone else. But after awhile, that someone else and her decided not to have feelings for each other anymore. But she still cant get over him. But at the same time, she did confess dat she had feelings for me. But she said i'm better off without her and she doesnt deserve a guy like me for the way i was treating her ( how was i treating her? If u ppl know me by now, u'd know how i treat girls already.. esp those i really like). So long story short like dat la. Now u probably be sayin to urselves : aiyo.. small matter only ma.. why so worked up ? Well, its not often i come across someone as special as this. Someone who really gets me, makes me happy.. those sorta stuff.. I would even go as far as sayin she may be the best of all my past gfs IF things would've gone the way i wanted to. =X

And if u all know me, this is not sumthing that happens often rite? so.. there u go.. still hung up about it. But i guess, as the sayin goes, times heal all wounds ? Duno la.. but i know this sayin though : Shit happens! . hahaha.. and shit certainly happend to me alright.

Oh, and what does it mean (besides 'I dont like u' in a nice way) when someone tells u : 'I dont deserve u' , or 'Ur too good for me' or both at the same time?? And why do ppl say that? I mean, isnt usually the case of " ur not good enuf for me" ? That i understand crystal clear la. But this? i find it very hard to accept. Mostly because, who are u to tell me u dont deserve me? n What makes u think i'm too good for u? .. sien.. Of cos i didnt say dat la.. but it jz makes u wanna say it if someone says tat to u eh?

Other then that, I'm just lookin forward to this weekends sporting events to take my mind of this. 3 BIG stuffs going on 1) Man United vs. Liverpool - THE match of the EPL before Chelski and Aresenal became a force. 2)Real Madrid vs Barcelona - with all the bad blood between d teams, only reason its not called a derby match is becos they are miles away from each other. And 3) The Brazillian GP - Micheal Schumachers final race before he retires from his illustrious career. He is THE most successful F1 drive in history. But i still hope Alonso wins larr. Gonna go McLaren next year ma :P

Hmm.. been goin to Hartamas quite often lately. And no, its not always Souled Out. Got tons of other interesting places. But so far only been to Hartamas Square and Uncle Dons' la.. hahahaha.. Will hope to try out newer places next time. Anyone wanna take me?? haha

So till the next time i blog (hopefully i wont be EMO again) , chiaoz n cheers!!

I'm on Wikipedia!!

Or may be not lar... anyway, noticed that Kenny Sia has his own page on Wikipedia that actually has his face on it! And im sure u ppl know what is Wikipedia rite?? if not then u're definatly livin in a shell la..

Anyways, out of curiosity (or boredom) , i decieded to key in MY name and see wat came out. To my surprise , ada juga my name inside!! But what does it say? u ppl go read here

Tagged by Ling Ling~

FOR GUYS Turn ON : , Turn OFF : , Don’t care :

Is taller than you:

Is shorter than you:

Wears braces:

Has blue eyes:

Has green eyes:

Has hazel eyes:

Brown eyes:

Drinks alcohol:

Wears glasses:

Smokes:

Stares at u all the time:

Wears pink:

Kisses you on ur lips:

Kisses you on ur nose:

Kisses you on ur forehead:

Lie to keep you happy:

Hot headed:

Quiet:

A nerd:

Dark skin:

Fair skin:

Muscular:

Skinny:

Rich:

Cuddle u alot:

Over protective:

Plays sports:

Smiles a lot:

Calls you just to say Hi:

Compliments you:

Good dancer:

Wears jewelry:

Smiles when you walk in the room:

Has brown hair:

Has Black hair:

Has blonde hair:

Has red hair:

Makeup:

Can make you laugh at any given moment:

Loyal:

Plays guitar:

Plays drums:

Sing:

He’s buff (muscles):

He can draw:

Easily jealous:

Doesn’t eat meat:

Doesn’t eat vegetables:

Has a tattoo:

Has a lip ring:

Has tongue ring:

____________________________
FOR GIRLS : Turned ON : , Turned OFF : or DC (don’t care) :

dresses like a grandma:

plays musical instrument:

is shorter than you:

same height as you:

is taller than you:

has chapped lips:

has green eyes:

blue eyes:

has brown eyes:

has long hair:

has med hair:

has short hair:

drinks alcohol:

smokes cigs:

smokes weed: (weed is bad kids.. )

wears glasses:

has blonde hair:

has brown hair:

has black hair:

has red hair:

works out:

smiles:

calls you just to say hi:

creative:

compliments you:

shaves her legs:

wears jewelry:

has bigger feet than you:

has smaller feet than you:

smiles when you walk into the room:

belly piercings:

virgin: *evil grin*

laid back: (quite important)

doesn’t party:

likes to party:

laughs a lot:

giggles:

snorts: (dont want no piggie)

pierced ears:

pierced anything else: (wicked!!)

tattoos:

honest and open: (lagi la important! )

goes to church: (eh.. go temple tarak ar?? :P)

TAGGED : May, Leo , Kat, Dee, *actually anyone else whos readin this :D)