May sucks! .... the month larr.. -.-

Warning : slightly/partly emo post ahead. u have been warned!!

Rite, i think as far as this year or any other that has passed, this month is clearly been laid wit so much stuff that sucks, it even made me believe tis month is a doomed month >.< ... rite rite.. lets see.. over the past several weeks ppl around me or me have experienced : breakups wit bf/gf, fiancees ; death in the family or friends ; accidents ; strained relationships with family/friends . Sure it may sound normal, but as far as i'm concerned, it has never been so concentrated like this my entire life >.< .. rite.. screw this goddamn month. Next month, the only tears n joy i will shed, is for football :P.

As far as my last post is concernend, i suppose i'm dealing with it wit the right manner.. For all i know, it might just be an infratuation rite? Certainly dont wanna let history repeat itself. But sumhow rite.. i duno why, i feel like im being to possesive or over demanding on certain things ( like why no sms, why leave so early, i want tis /tat ..yadda yadda) even if we're jz frens. I know its wrong, i know im at no right to do such things.. but i justs do it .. haha.. so much for the Nike tagline eh. Rite more bertekun and bertekad to stop this stupid n foolish me >.< ..

Oh, and what issit wit ppl hiding thier emotions becos of thier pride? I'm really not targetting anyone if particular so here are my 2cents (maybe its worth less) on it : I've always said, emotions n feelings are not ment to be hidden, esp if lets say, u are keeping sumthing for sumone, but ur too afraid/proud to tell em. Why? Cos u'll never know wat might happen if u did, if it turns out for better or for worse rite? What if u regret not sayin wat u wanted to , and one day look back n say to urself "if only i had said that to him/her" . I've seen this happen too many times , well ok , mostly on tv :P , but my point is, its not worth it keeping ur feelings from someone. If u hate their guts, jz walk up to thm n say " dude, i dislike the way ur doin things, plz do sumtihn bout it" or if u like someone ... well, those words to say are pretty simple rite? I know i would tell tat sumone how i felt bout them, be it good or bad, well, not all the time but certainly more often then not. Sometimes, stepping on our pride or facing ur fear is the best possible thing tat we can do in order to get some words across.

On another note, i think i might be goin back up to kl this weekend. College is starting, although i still dont know where i stand, i figured it be best if i go up there n seek assistance from the office.Got another pep talk from parents, so i guess for real this time, i'm really gonna get my head down n pass every freakin paper. Hmm.. maybe my head will be on football during tat month la.. but jz for tat month >.<

Well, theres about 9 more days to a new month.. wonder wat other fucked up shit can happen.Btw, jz realized that hotmail has upgraded its capacity to 25mb.. yay.. at least whn someone sends me those emails attached wit pics up to 2-3 mb, it wont be rejected.. its still far off from yahoo mail or gmail, but hey, its a start rite? Small steps are better thn none taken .. Oh, tat applies to everything i've said ya :P

>.<

Keep tellin myself tat i must not.. but yet.. i keep doin it.. why?? why?? >.<.. why are the things that we cant or must not obtain in life become the most temptatious things? My case? hmm.. wat else.. falling for sumone i dont think i should.. well, nuff said .. Note to self : gotta controll ur self ... and i WILL try to control myself.. *bangs head on table* >.<


BTW, Happy Mothers Day ^^v

Free~~

Well, its been a long time since i last blogged. Guess it was either no time, or no mood. Well, guess today ada mood abit, ada time also, so might as well eh. Lets see, rite now, i'm on holiday for 3 weeks, eh.. wait, i'm on perma holiday.. muahahahaha. unless college tells me other wise... Hmm.. in the past few weeks, i've :

- Transfered my wireless account to my fren, so 50 riggit deposit i got back.. *cha ching*

- Checked out of my hostel, another 50 bucks deposit *cha ching again*

- Shifted all my stuff to my new place, thx to a friend of mine. Those house mates ar.. nothing to say, kononnyer suppose to help me move at 1pm.. delay delay till say 1 am.. thn i got feddup, i asked another fren instead. God, hopefully tis is not a sign of things to come with em. >.<

- Celebrated my grandmothers 89th (i think) birthday at d legacy hotel in KL. The dinner was like chinese new year take 2. 5 tables of relatives , uncle n aunt from england n aussie also was here. Was suppose to be 5 star hotel, food wasnt bad... only the cold dish looked like 5 star honestly...cos of d prawns n mussels. It was the ONLY time i eat mussels.. cos they were so BIG and covered with garlic n CHEESE!! u hear that lynn, CHEESE. hahhaha.. too bad u and ann couldnt be here huh. hoped u had a blast in bang-kok though. =) ... did u all go for d mtv asia awards? Sadly with out u 2 here, plus no ah leong n ah meng, me n eu jinn had to sit with the kids >.< .. my sis wanted to act all grown up.. so she sat wit d adults. :P .. And my, those kids, though the eldest might be only in f 1, but thier minds... my god.. for me to say that they are polluted, gotta be sumthin rite? Oh, and as expected went to kayu after that for supper. lol. ^^

- Watched d mtv asia awards.. sad to say, tis yrs event totally sucked. Winners sucked, performances sucked, host sucked. The only thing thats nice (according to Leo) was the trophy itself. haha.. and i have to agree , that was d only thing tat looked good .

- Went for dinner with leo n su ling on wednesday to windmill. Had sum chiken n fish grill.. not bad lar.. Hadn't eaten western outside for years now. Last i remember was amigos bout..errr. wait. i dont remember at all >.< Hmm.... later went to secret recipe for sum cake. Been craving for thier marble cheese for sum time now.. and guess wat, marble cheese was sold out! omfg... how can it be sold out, and u fellas dont have n extra cake. Asked for the blueberry cheese, also sold out... by tat time, i was outta ideas of wat to eat ( my usual choices are those 2, never tried anything else :P) . In d end , settled for yogurt cheese. Not bad, taste like lemon cheesecake to me though.

Guess other than that , nothing much else happend. Usually my days back are spent in front of the tv, or in front of d laptop or at padang. Oh, past few days, been waking up blardy early.. 7am on tuesday!! 9 am on wednesday 10 am on thursday .. thank god i woke up at 12 today :P.. I also had no idea why i woke up so early at 7... goddamn 7!! >.<..

Anyways, congrats to someone on getting the JPA scholarship to do med. You've earned it. I'm very happy for u =) .

Rite.. time to reconnect n post tis ( goddamn dial up -.-)

P/s : moms day is comin up.. wat did u get for ur mom??

KNNCCB -.-

die.... i think i flunkeed my physics paper again... dah le i didnt sleep d whole nite... now my efforts i feel are wasted. And for once, i kinda feel sad n useless, usally, i jz dont care, i said i did wat i could, wait for resit.. but today.. duno why.. i feel like those brainy ones who didnt score an A (no offence ). Well, jz tat... ah.. wtf... forget it lar.. wats done is done >.< .. might have to repeat tis blardy subject. diu... now left 2 papers.. n both of em.. still no blardy clue... ><>.<>.<

Ah.. jz needed a place to rant.. where else eh. I guess im feelin slightly better.. maybe cos d lack of sleep n a damn blardy hungry stomach. ah well, i'm eatin my nasi goreng ayam beside me with a can of coke.. so i can only feel better. Well, on a lighter note, as ya'll notice ( or not) my poll as been automatically closed due to its 1 month period. The results : 15 out of 24 of u agree that it is possible findin tat special sumone through d net. hmmm... since i've been spendin helluva lot of time online.. wonder if i have found mine yet..hmmm.. lolx.. anyway.. thx guys n gals for voting. Cham ni la spirit kekawannan lol. Anyway, a new poll will be up soon. Only thing is, cant think of anything nice.. hmm ok la, u all think there should be a poll? or not? if yes leh.. plz suggest sum stuff to polll about.. and for those of u who dont give a crap... aih... no semagat to layan...

hmm.... ok la.. need to finish up my food... chat abit on irc and later on get sum shut eyes -.-....